2-Minute Marketing Muse

Holy greenbacks, Batman!!  I have never seen retailers scramble so desperately for a piece of the tax-refund pie.  Economic stimulus checks have become retailer catnip… intoxicating and addictive. 

In a slow (looks like a recession to me) economy, where gas prices are absurd and jacking up the price of everything from lamb chops to light bulbs, retailers are feeling the pinch as the rest of us tighten our belts.  So, what can they do to pry the extra $600 from our hands? Offer to make it $660 if you put it into a gift card.

Really, it’s brilliant.  Retailers get guaranteed dollars in their stores; consumers get free money in their wallets.  Everybody is happy.  Not as happy as we’d all be to pay $1.49 for gas rather than $3.49, but hey, those oil execs need $1billion in golden parachutes and China needs fuel to permanently overtake all world manufacturing and eventually buy and sell all our butts, don’t they?

But, I’ve diverged.  The truth of this new marketing strategy is that it is no skin off the noses of retailers.  It seems like they’re giving away “free money”, but the truth is that they can make it up by running one less coupon campaign (and they’ll probably save even more since they won’t have to print the darn things).  Sure, maybe there’s no free lunch, but who cares?  People just see more value on the gift card.  (As a matter of fact, the majority of the people getting these economic stimulus checks view them as free money from Uncle Sam.  Knock-knock?  Anyone there, McFly?  THIS IS NOT “FREE MONEY” people.  We already paid that money to Uncle Sam.  Please realize that Uncle Sam has no money except for the allowance WE give him.  It’s about time we took some back since he’s been getting greedier about how much he takes and more foolish about how he spends it.) 

But again, I diverge. 

So long as people read the fine print on each retailer offer and make sure the cards don’t expire, I think most people will be pretty pleased with the extra bump up, and most retailers will be relieved to know they’re getting some cash flow in these tough times.

Some retailers offering to plump up your rebate if you spend it with them:

Lowes, JC Penney, Sears, KMart, The Home Depot, Kroger, Starbucks, Bed Bath & Beyond, Gap, Pier 1 Imports, Borders, and Blockbuster. 

It’s Friday, thank the stars.  It’s been one heck of a week and I need something to smile about.  Let’s skip the marketing talk and give some love to bloggers after my own heart. 

For the shoe lovers.

For the wine lovers.

For the chocolate lovers.

Let’s not confuse “ghost”writing with “horror” writing.  They’re two different things… usually.

Ghostwriting is the practice of paying one person to write something another person will take credit for it.  If the writer is not paid, well, that’s usually plagiarism and I wouldn’t recommend it.

But ghostwriting, on the other hand can be a writer’s best friend… most of the time.

Ghostwriters can and are hired to write anything from books, to speeches, to resumes.  For our purposes, let’s talk about ghostwriters that pen business articles. Pick up any magazine, especially a trade journal, and read an article “by” an influential industry executive. Though I don’t have hard and fast stats because most companies don’t publicize their use of ghostwriters, from my own career as a writer, I’d bet at least 80% of those articles have been written entirely or in part by a hired wordsmith. 

Now, that’s not to say that the executive who gets the “By line” doesn’t influence the article:  most times, when I write for someone, I start by interviewing them to get a feel for their personality and speech patterns.  This also helps me get a basic understanding of the message they want to convey.  However, I have to admit, I have seasoned some articles with tidbits of my own research and personal perspective, especially if the person I’m writing for is a real dud. 

The best part of ghostwriting is the potential to make a consistent living from it.  Not everyone can write well, and that includes the top dogs running corporations.  They may be extremely smart and exceptionally savvy at their jobs, but that doesn’t mean they can write a sentence worth reading.  Or, frankly, maybe they’re just too busy or otherwise uninterested in doing it.  Not a problem.  People like me will happily take the task off their hands.

Making Money

Depending on the company and the scope of the research you’re expected to sift through, a senior ghostwriter can earn roughly $1k - $2k per 1,000-word article.  Sometimes more, sometimes less. It’s nothing to sneeze at.

The Ups

If you love to write, being someone’s hired pen is a pleasure.  You get to build a story for readers to devour while earning a living and building a happy - and hopefully, repeat- relationship with clients.  Personally, I find ghostwriting to be extremely educational.  Since I begin by reading everything I can get my hands on.  I become a virtual “expert” about what I’m writing, even if only until the final article is submitted and my short-term memory fades like chalk on a sidewalk.  Plus, it’s lots of fun to interject the often-obscure facts you find into conversations at cocktail parties:  when I was writing about Medicare prescription drug plans, I too particular pleasure in explaining the “donut hole” of coverage to anyone who’d listen - the more blank their stare, the more amused I became.  Sad, I know. 

The Downs

As for the downside of ghostwriting, it is two-fold.  First, if you have an “author” who is unpleasant, indecisive, or just plain dense, you may feel reluctant to promote them to the world-at-large when you do not feel they deserve reader respect or even a smidgen of additional success.  Sometimes, it is hard to grin and bear it.

But, even harder, is when you do a lot of ghostwriting - stuff you are really proud of - and the client swears you to secrecy.  Not only do you get no obvious credit for doing top-notch work, but you also miss out on the chance to puff up your portfolio with pieces that would really Wow a prospect.  Talk about humble pie.  Ghostwriting is no place for egos.

If ghostwriting still sounds like something you’d like to do, the following 5 Tips for Ghostwriting Success will help you get started. Keep reading →

As a professional writer, I get asked all the time - should my resume be one page or two? 

The simple answer: it depends. 

Back when I was a “captive” employee working for a Fortune 500 company, I reviewed scores of resumes to hire my staff.  I was not at all put off by a two-page resume if there was a legitimate reason for it, and if the pages were properly labeled in case the two sheets got separated.  However, if page 2 consists of nothing more than a list of college classes, fluffed-up skills, or computer programs that you can work… skip it.

Big Guns, Smaller Resumes

Obviously, the longer you work, the more experience you gain and the longer your list of bragging points becomes… or so you would think.  The irony, however, is that some of the more senior candidates I had the opportunity to interview had the most succinct resumes.  Why?  They focused on their achievements, not their day-to-day job functions.  After all, the higher you get on the food chain, the less busy-work you do, and the more goal-oriented you become, especially because many companies use bonuses to reward managers for goal attainment.  True, most couldn’t contain the achievements of their entire career on one-page, but two pages were almost always sufficient.

Length Corresponds to Your Place in the Job World

Here’s the deal: If you’re new to the game, keep it to one page - even if it means shrinking margins or kerning your text a bit (but, don’t render it unreadable, please!  A lot of us in a hiring position already wear reading glasses!).  If you’re in between entry level and senior management, you may need to spill onto a second page, but make sure you really need to - it’s at this point where GPA’s and internships can be killed off.  Think like the hiring person: are the points on your resume applicable to the position you are going for?  For those of you approaching the tops of the ladders, give some thought to what you’ve accomplished and how you can convince your target company of your value.

Eye For Design

One last thought - white space matters.  Too much information crammed onto a page is overwhelming for the reader.  This will not help your cause.  I’ve tossed many candidates’ resumes in the circular file because it was far too “noisy” for me to digest.  Be your own best editor.  And, if you can’t, ask someone you trust to whip out their red pen and go to town.  Make sure you pay attention to details too - keep your current job in the present tense and past jobs in the past tense.  Uniformity is important.  Remember, this is your first impression.  Make it count.   

For more tips on resume writing, check out this Resume Writing site.  Happy hunting!

Oh joy.  The talking Mrs. Butterworth bottle is making a comeback in TV spots, on the Web, in an interactive game, and, just for good marketing measure, in an online contest.  Pinnacle Foods is making a big push to reintroduce the syrup to the next generation, targeting moms and kids specifically.  What a shame!

Unless you live in a cave, you know that childhood obesity is at an all-time high - kids are eating processed crap with marginal nutritional value and they’re not moving nearly as much as generations past, thanks to video games, computers, and non-stop TV.  Basically, we’re setting our kids up for a lifetime of health problems and bad eating habits, and advertisers are capitalizing on it.

The beauty of our industry is that anyone can pretty much sell anything in most cases.  But, I wonder if it’s responsible to emotionally attach children to products that are so obviously detrimental to their health.  Mrs. Butterworths, pardon my humble opinion, is total crap.  The very first ingredient is HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP - the cheapest form of sugar which, if you read up on it, wreaks havoc on your liver and forces your body to initiate a severe insulin reaction to cope.  Each 1/4 cup serving of Mrs. Butterworth syrup packs a whopping 220 calories and 55g of carbohydrates - 38g of which is cheap, processed sugar.

Is it responsible of Pinnacle Foods to forge an emotional connection between kids and the talking bottle?  Isn’t this the same kind of negligence tobacco companies and McDonald’s (through Ronald McDonald and friends) have been accused of and sued over?  Isn’t it our duty to prevent companies from advertising to children products that can harm them? 

If it’s true what they say - it’s what’s inside that matters - then moms need to look past that kind, grandmotherly bottle and see what they’re really getting their kids hooked on - processed garbage that is awful for their growing bodies.

Here’s a marketing idea: why doesn’t a REAL maple syrup manufacturer come up with a talking bottle or an animated character that will resonate with kids.  Even though it’s still syrup and should be used sparingly, at least it has been created by nature rather than a chemist in a factory who-knows-where.

Seems to me that pharmaceutical companies’ advertising budgets are beginning to rival those of car manufacturers.  As a marketer, I like to see my industry keeping busy, but this pharma situation is making me nervous.  Every time I turn on the TV, I’m seeing some ad for some drug.  The ads are purposely vague and always include “Ask your doctor about…”

Let’s face it: we wouldn’t be living the lives we lead if not for medical advances, much of which is attributed to drug development.  HOWEVER, the pharmaceutical industry seems to be dangerously under-regulated, and it’s a bit alarming that non-credential people (i.e. you and I) are starting the conversations with doctors about drugs.  Isn’t that just a baby-step above self-diagnosing? 

Drugs such as Vytorin - recently in the hot seat because of its apparent ineffectiveness, despite its wide use - have fantastic and widespread marketing oomph behind them.  Their ads are memorable and brilliant, and people remember the name and ask their doctor about it - just like the fun little ad says. 

Here’s what I’m wondering: Is it smart to let drug companies advertise to the masses?  At some point, if you talk about enough symptoms, everyone begins to think they qualify for the medicine.  Are we doing ourselves a dangerous disservice by promoting brands with the biggest budgets, even if they’re not the best scientific fit for the individual?  Is the whole medical model a mess, since doctors don’t seem to have the time (or even the ability in many cases) to actually diagnose people appropriately, and instead just slip them a magic little sample left behind by some pharmaceutical rep? 

What’s right?  What’s wrong? And where does the negligence really begin or end?

Is big marketing buzz the driver behind renaming sports teams?  My short answer: Um, yeah!

Take the Devil Rays, for example: long-standing team, stagnant fan base, lackluster performance, not much “news” to drum up… what’s the best way to recharge the franchise, the fans, and the cashflow from logo items?  Rename ‘em! 

The marketing potential is HUGE.  Not only does it generate tons of free publicity - who’s in favor of the new name; who opposes it; what’s it all mean?  it gives the franchise a ton of opportunity to make money as fans replace all their old hats, jerseys, mugs, pens, bumper stickers… well, just about anything that can be logo-ed.   And, if that doesn’t make enough extra dough for them, the $1 fine they’ll impose on any media outlet that accidentally keeps the “Devil” in their name should pick up the slack.  (Yeah, this sounds like another brow-raising PR move, b/c no one would believe it otherwise…) 

But, hey, when you average 97 losses a season since your franchise started, maybe the answer to fans’ prayers is to cut ties with the Devil.  Though it would probably please the evangelical fan base (is there one, who knows?), it doesn’t seem that the name change has anything to do with religion.  However, name changes instituted on the basis of high moral ground are even more peculiar to me.

Take the Washington Bullets, for example.  They have been the Wizards since ‘97, because, if you heard owner Abe Polin tell it,  ”Bullets” could be misconstrued as glorifying street violence. 

Ok, hold on.  You mean to tell me that cheering for a team named the Bullets might actually promote street violence, but the constant blood and guts on prime time TV, in every action movie (and a whole lot of non-action movies), and epidemic in video games isn’t desensitizing and polluting the minds of our youth?  Let’s call a spade a spade: changing the name of the Bullets was really just a good marketing move for all the same income-generating reasons as the Rays’ change.  And telling everyone it was to help diminish the appeal of street violence was really good PR spin.  Period.

There is one team that has absolutely no regard for redundancy, marketing, or common sense.  Their name: The Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America including Barrow, Alaska.  (But, again, it was a good PR move, because would I ever be talking about it or would you ever be reading about it if they didn’t pull this seemingly silly renaming stunt?)

When a good marketing idea goes bad, usually it’s the consumers who suffer and the lawyers who thrive.  Take, for example, the recent case of RealSelf.com vs. Lifestyle Lift.  RealSelf’s content is user-generated and discusses all things anti-aging, including medical procedures.  Its success is based on its trustworthiness and the integrity of the reviews users submit and access. 

Lifestyle Lift, allegedly, took advantage of RealSelf’s model, directing its agents to log fabricated, misleading reviews under pseudonyms.  The courts will be working out the finger-pointing, but it makes this marketer wonder: just how credible are the social sites consumers consult for reviews about practically everything? It used to be that you’d ask your friend, neighbor, sister or mom for opinions about any number of things.  Now, we turn to strangers whose motives could be questionable.  

Don’t get me wrong; if Lifestyle Lift would have logged completely credible reviews by employees who had undergone their procedures, this could have been smart marketing.  Instead, it just seems shady.

Finding good television that’s not about murder, espionage, mindless humor, or warped “reality” is getting tough.  Drama is not exactly in fashion.  That’s probably why Friday Night Lights has been a viewer fave, even if it’s not NBC’s biggest money maker. 

The suits know that the people who “love” the show, REALLY love it, despite advertisers’ lukewarm buys.  So, they’ve kept it out of the CANCELLED pile for now.  But, here’s the catch: NBC has agreed to air the new 13-episode season exclusively on Direct TV this coming October.  Network viewers will have to wait until Feburary ‘09 to see the season. 

 Considering NBC was thinking about killing the show, zealots will probably prefer waiting a few extra months than never seeing Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) and the boys ever again.  And, this opens up a whole new marketing channel for the networks.  No longer is cable programming the only thing offered exclusively to paying viewers.  Now, network shows are joining the pay-fray. 

Could this be the beginning of people shopping for TV service based on who airs their favorite shows?  Will “premium packages” give you a menu of shows as well as channels soon?  This is probably going to get more complicated before long.  Sorta makes you long for the days of 12 channels, rabbit ears, and snow at midnight.